My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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