I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
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To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
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those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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