did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
