Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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