Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think I sprained my soul last night
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
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