I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
