the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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