My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
