I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
