The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize