we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
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