I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
