Duck Duck Cougar?
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize