so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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