oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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