We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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