You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
