she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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