This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
