playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
