If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
