Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
