Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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