I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
