she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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