Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Randomize
