I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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