it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
