i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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