Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
