Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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