He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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