I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize