He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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