I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
