It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
