i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
