Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
nutella sex= disaster
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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