brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
