More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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