We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
