That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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