In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
