How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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