winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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