I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
