very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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