I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
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