Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
