So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
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I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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