If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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