wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm just crazy horny about you
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize