If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
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Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
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My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
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