um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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