no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
