Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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