you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
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I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
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do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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